walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm too high and old for this...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize