I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I need a burrito and a hug.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
