Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Randomize
