And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
