Nicole vs. Life
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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