zippers are such a cool invention
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
