All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize