I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize