You made me cry and you don't even care
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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