When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
