Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
