this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
