Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize