You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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