If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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