All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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