Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
