you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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