Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Barsexuality is the new black.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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