OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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