SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
