So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
