He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
