small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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