TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
