I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
BRING THE BAGELS
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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