She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
