He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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