i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
