when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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