I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
