On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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