Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
