He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Semen is not good for contacts.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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