why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
