Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
