Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
