Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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