1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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