I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
