It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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