I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
