sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Its about making memories worth repressing
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
