Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize