the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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