I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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