We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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