lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
