First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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