I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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