Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
