I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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