That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
It's Friday. Sex?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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