You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
