Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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