I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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