Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
