On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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