And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
