He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
