Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
