Acid is not a monday night drug
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
